Have you ever sat down to spend time in God’s Word to only dwell on your sin? Instead of finding refreshment, you are flooded with remorse.
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Throughout Psalm 119, the psalmist declared his great love for God’s Word for which he endured many hardships. There have been times in my life when I have been persecuted or wrongly accused and I can relate:
“I have suffered much; preserve my life, O Lord, according to your word.” v. 107
But lately, I have read these verses with a pang of guilt, reliving the times when I have been the one to set the snare, when I have been the one to dig the pit.
“Though the arrogant have smeared me with lies, I keep your precepts with all my heart. Their hearts are callous and unfeeling, but I delight in your law.” v. 69-70
“The arrogant dig pitfalls for me, contrary to your law.” v. 85
The more I read about the righteous author who suffered at the hands of others, the more I thought about how I have caused suffering. I have said and done cruel things that have harmed people, and not always unintentionally.
In Scripture, descriptive words such as ‘rebuke, arrogant, cursed, scorn, contempt, slander, mock, wicked, shame, and destroy’ surround those who cause affliction.
I poured out my heart to God, begging He’d make me like this righteous Psalmist who delighted in His law. But these were not the lofty prayers of a saint. I was desperate. Worried. No matter how much I repented, I felt no comfort or reassurance.
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The truth was, I was afraid.
I was afraid I was the antagonist in the story, that I was the bad guy. My record proved my greatest joy was not keeping God’s commands. Instead my history revealed sin. I was afraid that my legacy would be embarrassing. Ugly. Wicked. And only a source of great shame to me and to God.
But tucked within a familiar stanza under the hebrew letter Nun, I found a simple word, a treasure containing a wealth of comfort and hope.
“Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart.” v. 111
My heritage.
Bible commentary notes that heritage refers to “the possession I have received from God as my homestead.”
Homestead. Webster defines this word as an ancestral home.
This means that God’s law, His Word, is my ancestral home. His commands are where I belong. His Word is from where I derive. God’s Story is my origin.
Furthermore, Webster defines the word heritage as something acquired from a predecessor: a legacy, or an inheritance.
Psalm 119:57 says, “You are my portion, O Lord; I have promised to obey your words.” The word portion, again, means inheritance.
A beautiful truth began to bloom in my heart:
I am not defined by my history.
My past is defined by His Story.
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As an adopted child of the King, the legacy I leave behind will not be one of shame and regret. I am part of a greater, far more epic story that can be traced back before Adam and Eve. It predates the Fall. So when the Real Antagonist whispers that our lives are nothing more than a record of sins, God reminds us to flip back to the beginning of the Book to see how our story began, when His relationship with us was good, pure, and whole. That’s our true heritage. That’s our real ancestral home.
And it was Paradise.
So even now, when all seems wrong and wicked, whether in the world or in our own lives, remember we are only in the middle of His Story.
In the Lord of the Rings, there is a defining scene when Frodo and Samwise are caught up in a battle against the orcs. Having suffered under the ring’s heavy burden and having witnessed so much death and destruction, Frodo is overcome with grief and hopelessness. In this moment, Samwise remembers the bigger picture:
“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.”
You and I, dear Christian, are holding onto something too. God’s Word is not only our past but also our future. Our heritage and our inheritance.
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“He who was seated on the throne said, ‘I am making everything new!’ Then he said, ‘Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.’” -Revelation 21:5
All that was broken will be mended.
All wounds will be healed.
All wrongs will be made right.
All things will be made new.
As a believer, this is my birthright. No matter where I am in my story, no matter how many mistakes I’ve made, I need not fear:
My future is not determined by my efforts.
My future is destined for Eternity.
When we’ve placed our hope in Jesus, His story becomes our story. It began in Paradise and is headed there too.
So take heart. The ending is good.
San Buenaventura State Beach, CA - 7/15/20